Newsletters - Community Families

Children's Home/Extended Family: England

In 1899, a time when Victoria was still Queen of England, my grandfather Herbert White was moved with compassion by the plight of an eight-year old orphan girl called Rosie. He arranged for a female Sunday School teacher in his church to care for Rosie in her little flat above the shop where she worked in the East End of London. That single act was the seed that gave birth to the family or community that we now call “Mill Grove”. Over the years more children were cared for in larger accommodation with a maximum of 60 at any one time.

Had you visited the place in the 1920s, it would perhaps have reminded you of a boarding school; in the 1950s it would have seemed like a children’s home. By the 1970s, there was a growing awareness that it had become quite unlike anything else, and so the name “Mill Grove” was chosen as a way of allowing the community to develop in its own way rather than having pre-determined labels attached to it. Since 1901, Mill Grove has been the home of a biologically related family descended from Herbert White. It is also the home of children and, more recently, families who for whatever reason cannot live in their own homes. It is the fixed point, or hub, of an extended family of those who have lived here, now spread out across the world; and it is a place where neighbours know they can come for support and practical help. There is a pre-school nursery, a toddler group, a school for children with cerebral palsy, and various local groups meeting on the premises.

Mill Grove is an interdenominational Christian charity with a board of trustees, and it has a threefold purpose: to care for children in need; to seek to introduce them by example and word to God’s love as revealed uniquely in Jesus Christ; and to rely on God alone to meet all the needs that arise.

How did it come to have its present shape and nature?

Some communities set out to pursue a particular form or way of living: by way of contrast, Mill Grove has evolved as it has responded to the needs of others. It is therefore in some important respects an unintentional extended family or residential community. Part of the work is registered as a “children’s home” for practical purposes (it means it is possible to receive children into our care without undue bureaucracy and procedures). But those who come from Africa and Asia see it as a rather typical extended family. Some who have reflected theologically see it as a way of “being church”.

Although the dynamics and shape of Mill Grove have arisen in the course of its mission, there has been much careful reflection on how we live together. We have studied, and taken note of much writing about, and practical experience of residential communities. The practical examples include the many varieties of religious orders, L’Arche, S.O.S., Christian communes, and types of foster family. Alternative living requires much careful thought.

It is only if and when a group of people choose to live in a different way that the relentless and powerful pressures to conform to existing social and cultural
norms become fully apparent. In practice Mill Grove is demonstrably both a family and also a residential community that has patterns of life and activity some way beyond that of more ordinary families and households.

So while those who are part of the Mill Grove family enjoy life together without undue need for definitions, others remain puzzled by what it is and how it should be classified.

Since 1899, over 1,200 children have lived at Mill Grove, and probably more than that have been supported through its life and work. All things being equal, it might have grown into a national organisation by now, but it has resisted the usual growth and publicity. Perhaps that it how and why it has become such a radical alternative community where there is lifelong commitment to every child in the name of Jesus.

Past Perspective: childhood at Mill Grove in 1940s and 50s.

We had travelled by train from the south of England, accompanied by the Headmistress of the school we had been attending. Now we stood at the door of the large house, with great apprehension. We were three little girls aged eight and seven, my twin and I being the eldest. Our mother had left us when we were four and five years old and since our father was fighting overseas, we had been in foster care for three years. However, the last two years with a foster family had been particularly horrific, with beatings and starvation on a daily basis. We had finally been removed by the authorities and were now facing a new and unknown situation.

The door was opened by Mr Herbert White, a gentleman with a kindly face and a twinkle in his eye. Soon we were taken to a large hall and were surrounded by about 60 other children, ranging in age between five and 18 years. It was very overwhelming at first, especially as nobody had explained what was happening to us. We soon learned that we were in a Home for motherless and destitute children.

Being thrust into an environment of community living so suddenly took a lot of adjusting. There were a lot of strict rules about such things as bed time. Everyone had a job to do and it had to be done properly. My first job as an eight year old was to clean the girls’ shoes every night for school the next day – about 30 pairs. All the girls slept in one large dormitory and the boys in another. There was absolutely no privacy at all. We attended the local schools but that could be difficult too because we were teased about being in a Home and not having as nice clothes as the other children.

But there were some good things too. There was always someone to play with and special times like Christmas were exciting and fun. We learned to share things and to care for the younger children.

I think the most difficult thing was the feeling of rejection by family for most of the children there, despite the fact that we knew that Mr White and the staff truly cared about us.

We lived in Mill Grove for ten years, and although the experience for us was in many ways positive, we found that when the time came for us to go out into the world, we were not really prepared for the “normal” way of life. Since life in a community is by necessity run by strict rules and regulations, learning to make your own decisions was very stressful.

But I would not wish to change the experiences of my life. Community living teaches you to be tolerant of others and makes you understand that there are so many who have at least as difficult a life, if not worse, than your own. And being raised in Mill Grove, I learned that God is above all and can take you through every difficulty if you but trust Him.

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