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Czech/Slovakia/UK
Folkestone UK with migrants from the Czech Republic and Slovakia, most of whom were Roma people. Some were asylum-seekers, others illegal immigrants and others 'economic migrants'. The remit of the Church Mission Society volunteers, working alongside a small charity called Folkestone Migrant Support Group, was to provide support for these families in whatever way that may be needed.
Having lived in the Czech Republic for six years, I was familiar with the 'Roma issue' without actually knowing any Roma people myself. For my husband, the issue went much deeper than for me, having grown up in a Czech town where hostilities between the two communities, Roma and white, are quite open.
When thinking about the theme of community families, I was reminded of Henri Nouwen's book, The Return of the Prodigal Son, in which he suggests three ways of becoming more like the compassionate father.
Firstly, he speaks about grief as a way to compassion. When we first met these families, we felt sadness at the way they had often been treated in their home countries and in Britain. We saw families of six or more people living in one room, with little hope of getting a permanent job to be able to feed their children. We saw teenage children with nothing to do all day as the local schools would not accept them. These were bright children whose future prospects look very poor, as in their home countries they would often have been automatically put into a 'special school' just for being Roma, and in Britain they had not even been offered a school place. The problems which they faced often seemed insurmountable. We cried for them.
Secondly, he talks about forgiveness from the heart. The Roma people can be quite volatile, and there were times when we had to forgive individuals for hurtful things said to us. Often we were in the middle of family rows, trying to bring some peace to the situation. Often we felt frustrated that fights broke out in the evenings when we were not around to help, or surprised that a family who had sworn they would never speak to each other again were good friends again by the following week. But something which really touched us was the forgiveness they felt towards us, the white majority who had often treated them with contempt. They accepted us into their homes with real openness and generosity.
Finally, Nouwen speaks about generosity. I sometimes struggled with giving myself totally to these people. I offered my help in one area, and they wanted ten times more than I had wanted to give. They phoned us at night when they were in trouble and I wanted to just switch off and not think about them. I started a choir with the children and I was frustrated that no one came regularly. But how often I would reluctantly pay a visit to someone who I didn't really feel needed it, and be totally ashamed by their generosity to me. People with no jobs and little money insisted that I join them for lunch or wanted to give me a lift home.
The community of Czechoslovaks in Folkestone UK was quite a tight-knit one, often because of family links or just the feeling of closeness created by the common language and situation. I feel privileged to have been a part of it and to have been able to give as well as receive from them. Sometimes the people we serve are closer to spiritual fatherhood than we would expect.
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