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United Kingdom
Domestic violence is extremely common in the UK. It accounts for nearly a quarter of all recorded violent crime, with two incidents being reported to the police every minute, and has the highest repeat rate of any violent crime. Statistics show that women are physically abused between 30 and 35 times before they report it, and on average two women are killed a week by a partner or expartner.
However, family violence is not just about women victims of their partners. Whilst predominantly perpetrated by men against women, one in six men will suffer it at some point in their lives. One recent study has suggested that children are present in around two-thirds of households that experience violence, and child abuse itself is now widely recognised as a tragic reality. However, it is not until relatively recently that elder abuse has also been acknowledged to be a growing problem.
Apart from the obvious physical risks, the emotional damage caused by repeated violence can be profound in its long-term effects. It can contribute to loss of confidence, depression, mental health problems, and low school attainment by children. Domestic violence is also a major cause of homelessness.
Those of us who haven’t been through it can barely imagine the stress and trauma.. But why does it happen? Some of it can be traced back to attitudes – research shows that one in five young men and one in ten young women think that violence towards a partner is acceptable in some situations. Dysfunctional relationships where emotional immaturity, the need to control others, or inability to manage anger, all create a context in which violence can erupt. For some, generations of family violence have left their mark with the same vicious cycle being repeated again and again. Unemployment contributing to loss of selfesteem and financial worries can be a trigger. Often in situations of repeated violence the perpetrator is addicted to alcohol or drugs.
Parts of the country where there are high ratios of social and economic deprivation, such as outer urban estates or inner city neighbourhoods, are more likely to see worrying statistics because of the concentration of unemployment, low income households, poor housing, and physical and mental health problems.
Notably, some churches are taking action about this. The “Living Waters Satisfies” project in South East London supports women experiencing domestic violence by helping them develop employment skills to greater financial independence. The Young Women’s Social Inclusion Project in Cornwall offers pregnant women and young mothers from abusive backgrounds the chance to learn budgeting and other life skills, whilst being part of a peer-support network.
Maybe as Christians in this country we need to open our eyes and acknowledge what a widespread problem violence in the family is. And even more, maybe we need to risk getting involved in the pain and the mess of it all to make a difference in Jesus’ name...
Good News Family Care, a Christian Charity, was established in 1994 by a group of Christians who felt a burden to show God’s love in action and to provide a “safety net” for families experiencing difficulties.
At Charis House, in Derbyshire, Good News Family Care provides supported accommodation for up to nine woman and their families. Many of the woman and children who stay with us are the victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, or emotional and mental, including constant criticism, telling their partner that they are useless, ugly, worthless, or humiliating them; threatening to kill their partner or harm the children, intimidation and bullying.
An abused woman usually experiences serious difficulties in extricating herself from her situation. Her coping strategies may include drinking or drug-taking. She may suffer from depression which also increases her difficulties of getting out of her situation. The woman rarely wants to break up the relationship, particularly when there are children involved – she wants the man to change. She has to come to terms with the fact that she is the one who must act. By the time she seeks help, she will probably have spent a long time, perhaps years, trying to make the relationship work. She may have left home and returned many times. It isn’t unusual for a woman to come to Charis House several times, only to return to their partner.
Whatever the circumstances, we aim to provide an appropriate level of support in a caring, non-judgmental atmosphere. Our desire is to show the love of Jesus, in a practical way, to all with whom we come into contact at Charis House. Through the struggles and hardships of daily life, some people have come to faith, others have moved on, but our prayer is that God’s love will bring new hope, joy and peace into hurting lives.
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