Print
this page
Email
this page Newsletters - Violence and the Family
Northern Ireland
For over thirty years Belfast has been known as “bomb city” and Northern Ireland a place of sectarian violence. But other places suffer greater levels of violence. What makes us different is our level of fear. We divide people: “them” and “us”. They are to blame. We are the victims. Politics, religion and culture all mark people out as “one of us” or one of the “other sort”. A superficial sense of normality is preserved by an unwritten rule, “whatever you say, say nothing”. That means don’t talk about politics or religion with those you don’t know. The very problems we need to understand and resolve, we are unable to talk about together.
People no longer wish to live in “mixed” areas where it is felt you are at greater risk. Because of the increased segregation the myths about “the others”continue to grow and remain unchallenged. In the area where I am parish minister, almost 90% of young people have said they have never had a serious conversation with a person from the other community. The lack of any relationship means communities resort to violence all too easily.
Corrymeela is an ecumenical Christian community committed to reconciliation in Northern Ireland. It has 200 members, Roman Catholics as well as Protestants, who support each other as they live out their commitment to reconciliation in their homes, churches and work-places. The Corrymeela Residential Centre in Ballycastle brings together groups of Catholics and Protestants, often from areas of the worst violence, to live together in community for a few days. As they get to know one another, trust grows. The aim of our Centre is “to create a safe space where people can share their stories”.
Two classes of 16-year-olds from Catholic and Protestant schools came to Corrymeela. After getting to know one another and enjoying it, they were divided into small groups of eight, with four Catholics and four Protestants in each group. The groups agreed to listen to one another with respect. The topic was ‘How the troubles have affected my life’. After a pause, one girl was courageous enough to say that her father was killed by paramilitaries because he was a member of the police. No one would say such a thing in mixed company normally.
But the group listened. And one by one began to tell their own stories. Of the eight young people, six told stories of their bereavement through sectarian violence. Three were Protestants, three were Catholics. At the end of the session, they fell into each other’s arms and wept, Catholics comforting Protestants and Protestants comforting Catholics. They remained real friends after their visit. They had learnt that it is possible to cross barriers of hate, with love.
Top
